Two-Sided Life

Lesson: Acknowledging the Good

We tend to give people this one-sided view of our lives. This image of beautiful satisfaction or immeasurable disdain. Sometimes true, sometimes false, but always an unequal depiction of truth. I’ve noticed myself at times wishing my life was more like someone else’s. Someone who only chooses to capture the highs of their life–the beautiful satisfaction. But I also see that I’ve succumbed to the same trap.

I tend to only capture the lows–the immeasurable disdain, hoping that someone who lives a similar life might find hope in Jesus, understanding that his perfect plan of beautiful satisfaction includes these countless moments of pain and struggle. I don’t think I’ve communicated that well, partly because I’m terrible at capturing the great moments of my life. I might not have enough to fill my Instagram with enviable experiences, but I have more than some others.

Taking Note of Goodness

My go-to shows that there is purpose in our hardships, and there is perfection working through our flaws. I struggle to communicate and take note of the moments that I can’t help but be extremely grateful for. It may not involve wealth or traveling or life-giving poolside experiences or admirable romance or cool purchases or anything of the sort. But my moments of sheer gratitude involve time spent with great people, which, though brief, allows me to delay the pressure and hold fast to my faith and my sanity.

The Problem With Beautiful Satisfaction

When it all boils down, wealth is fleeting, vacations end, cold weather makes a pool less appealing, godly romance requires toil and upkeep, and cool things lose value. But people, according to this strange gospel I believe, are worth dying for.

Achieving the Two-Sided Life

I’ve had the privilege of picking and enjoying every job I’ve had, paid or unpaid, and it was always the people that made it worthwhile. I don’t have many grand experiences that make people wish to swap lives with me, but I’m grateful for every person who has been a part of my life. I’m also grateful to be in college at the only university I’ve ever considered attending. I’m grateful for my car no matter how much trouble it’s given me. I’m grateful for a church that I can plug in to and also be edified by. And I’m grateful for the gift of introspection that has allowed me to be honest and apply the various things God teaches me, knowing that I will never be perfect enough to not need to change. Life is hard, but I’m grateful, and hopefully I learn to capture those moments a little better in the coming months.

Tainted Trust

Lesson: Holding On to that Ounce of Faith

Honestly, I hate summer. I know that’s weird. It’s supposed to be the season of freedom—free from mounds of obligation and allotted the time necessary for reprieve in order to start afresh in the fall. But summer has never been that for me. Continue reading “Tainted Trust”

Passion for the Least of Them

Lesson: Learning to Expressively Care for Those We Overlook

Just yesterday, I posted the following status on Facebook:

When was the last time you sought to find out who someone is before writing them off? You never know how much damage you can do to someone when you simply don’t think about how to actively and expressively love them. What you say is important. What you don’t say is important. How you say it is important. Live life intentionally, and care for everyone. Not just those in your inner circles—everyone.

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Beautiful, Unmerited Grace

Lesson: Understanding the Story of Failure

I’m going to be forthcoming for once. For the past two and half years, I’ve ended each day with incredibly deeply rooted regrets. I’ve ended every day upset with myself, wondering why I didn’t do more, why I haven’t performed better, why I just can’t get it right. I’ve loved myself under the premise and with the understanding that God loves me. But I’ve hated myself with immeasurable hate even more. All of my flaws, failures, slipups, pains, weaknesses, emptiness, brokenness. I’ve stretched myself thin.
Continue reading “Beautiful, Unmerited Grace”

The Truth About Freedom

Lesson: Unraveling Suppressed Truth in Search for Healing

Well, it’s been a very long time since I’ve written on here. I’ve been very busy. I’m at a great place in life, but there are some things I’d like to share that have been heavy on my heart for some time now. God has been taking me on this journey toward healing, uncovering things that have been buried in my subconscious since I was a kid.

I have to give a disclaimer: this is definitely the modified version of this post. Certain things I had originally written while journaling, I just could not find the strength to include in this post. But here’s what I can say…
Continue reading “The Truth About Freedom”

Have Your Way

Lesson: Waiting for the answer–with patience

No matter how many songs I write, I always seem to find my way back to this one: “Have Your Way”. I wrote this song during my first semester of my freshman year of college. I was sitting at my desk alone, completely unaware of how to handle the things I was facing at the time.
Continue reading “Have Your Way”

Preying on Peace; Yes, PrEying

Lesson: Learning to Fight Until the Gavel is Banged

I’m feeling a little indifferent about the past week. It was a good week. Nothing went terribly wrong, but I’m still swimming through some uncertain waters that should have died down by now.

When I think about it, one of the things that makes me apprehensive in life is the fact that in the past year I have come to terms (I guess you can say) with the fact that most of the things we ask God for—and holler in church about how he’s going to make them come to pass—he has absolutely no obligation to do.
Continue reading “Preying on Peace; Yes, PrEying”

The Invisible Evidence in the Courtroom

Lesson: Glorying in the Midst of Certain Uncertainty

Wow. I am sitting in a room on my college campus, gazing through a window that allows me to see the entire front-end of the university. I see it—in all its beauty, in all its summer lonesomeness; I see how it’s dying of the urge to step out of its introversion and teach us all the lessons it’s learned over the years. I’m amazed.
Continue reading “The Invisible Evidence in the Courtroom”

A Global Diagnosis: Tracing my Lineage

Lesson: Learning to Address the Factors

What’s wrong with me? Every now and again, I find myself wondering, what makes me different from everyone else. It’s not that I compare myself to others as if I want to become someone that I’m not; I just wish to be the best version of me that I can possibly be. I understand that growth takes effort. The Bible says to “discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness” (1 Timothy 4:7, NASB). One of my most rehearsed passages of scripture instructs us to “make every effort” to supplement specific life-changing qualities to our lives, qualities that “keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 1:3-8). Continue reading “A Global Diagnosis: Tracing my Lineage”

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